Saying Goodbye.

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So I guess, this is how it feels to say goodbye to something you never thought you’d fall in love with. I sound like I just broke up with someone. Which is technically kind of true, I just broke up with my job. Been in the company for eighteen months, been relocated twice, been under three different bosses, and went through a buttload of associates.

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Every single time I talk to people about my work the first thing they would ask is “Do you like it?” and I would always undoubtedly respond, “I like the people I work with!” And it is true, I LIKE the people I work with. The job is not so bad. It’s not the field I went to school for, it’s not what my passion is all about, but it is pretty fun, and I learned a bunch of stuff that I never would’ve learned anywhere else.

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The people is an entirely different story though. My associates have become my family. I fell in love with every single one of them, even the few that I’ve come to despise, haha! I’ve been their manager, adviser, therapist, teacher, big sister, and even a mom at some point (but that’s kinda pushing it coz I’m a child most of time).

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In return, they have been there for me with almost everything I went through. They’ve heard the worst of my hunger complaints and body pains. It got to a point where, whenever they hear someone craving for chili barbecue fries, or talk about having back problems, it would immediately remind them of me. They have forced me to come see the doctor, and got scared for me when I talk about my health with them. They have seen me ugly cry over the most trivial things, and they have made me laugh so hard that I almost peed myself. I’ve been with them through the good days and the bad. My kids (as I call them) have taught me so much more than I have taught them.

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They’ve seen me grow into a “mature” individual even though most of the time they see me goofing around and just playing. Who knew a bunch of 18-year-olds could change me?

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My company have been both good and bad to me. As any other company who has their pros and cons, but it’s more pros rather than cons. Working in this company, I started out as a timid, soft-spoken person afraid of confrontation. Now, I know how to pick my battles and I’ve learned not to be a push-over. Trust me, for me, it’s a good thing! I have learned to be brave, and fight for what I know is right. I have a stronger backbone (even though technically I have actual back problems, haha!) and I have learned to face stress with a level head and an objective point of view all the time.

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The management team have been literal brothers and sisters to me. We’ve gone through a lot, and I mean, A LOT. They’re my best friends but they have become like actual siblings to me.  If you had to work with the same group of people for 40 hours of the week, you could never avoid conflict. We’ve had our fair share of arguments, and horrible fights, but we’ve also gone through so much that we literally cannot go a day without talking to each other, just like siblings. We joke that we are all alcoholics, because we would all go drinking together even after work. They are my family inside and outside of work and I feel like no matter what had happened to this little family I’ve created in my short stay in this company, everything has a reason why, and I will still love all of them.

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Leaving this job felt like an actual break-up. I knew I was eventually gonna move to another state, and quitting was inevitable, but I can’t deny that it still hurt. On my last day, everything was emotional. My last clock-out, last close, pretty much last everything! I wrote my “kids” and “siblings” a long-ass letter to say goodbye, and everyone who’s ever known me knows how much I hate saying goodbye. I couldn’t do it properly that’s why I wrote it down. I’m thankful to every single one I’ve met in this company for all the good and even bad experiences.

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I’m off to another new chapter in my life: a completely clean slate, but you guys will always be in my heart. I will never forget you!

18766066_10154532773118639_1030280877271945748_n.jpgxx Gizzy

Keeping positive

From my most recent post, I could say that a lot of things have definitely happened to me. It has actually already been six months, and I haven’t even noticed that time was moving.

Since then, I’ve already moved to a different city, gotten a new job, learned a new language, (well, still learning) and met a lot of new people that will probably make a difference in my life.

It’s a funny thing, time, sometimes it’s too slow, other times it’s too fast. It’s never just right. Nothing ever happens to you where you’d feel like “I want to stay like this for a while.” It would always either be “I can’t wait for this part of my life to be over,” or “Wait a minute, everything’s happening too fast.” No matter what the situation is, you’ll always feel like the rug is being pulled out from under you, and always, you’d fall flat in your scrawny little ass.

Aside from time, I have another qualm that seems to be laughing at me and my decisions lately: responsibility. Half your life, you wish to be given the chance to spread your wings and become independent- live on your own, with no rules, no curfew, no parents to tell you what to do. And here you are a few months later berating yourself because nobody reminds you to do this or do that and obviously, without that chiding guidance, you always fail.

So here I am now learning to walk on my own, like a little parent-less toddler, with no one to soothe my butt when I fall. But the thing is, this is normal, and I’m not the only one who is going through this. Millions like me are wishing we were back at our own homes with someone to cook for us, take care of us, and make the right decisions for us.

But this is what growing up is like, it is scary, it is daunting, and most times you’d feel lost along the way. You make the absolute worst decisions, you work for a job you didn’t choose, you hang out with people you don’t feel comfortable with, you miss the people whom you actually hated spending time with, you start becoming unhealthy, you spend for a lot of things you don’t need and you start thinking about things that shouldn’t actually trouble you in your early twenties.

It’s a new chapter, and no matter what happens, you will come out of this a changed person; and as long as you know that you’re strong enough to handle all the new things, you’ll be okay, and you’ll be prepared for the next chapters to come.

xx Gizel