From my most recent post, I could say that a lot of things have definitely happened to me. It has actually already been six months, and I haven’t even noticed that time was moving.
Since then, I’ve already moved to a different city, gotten a new job, learned a new language, (well, still learning) and met a lot of new people that will probably make a difference in my life.
It’s a funny thing, time, sometimes it’s too slow, other times it’s too fast. It’s never just right. Nothing ever happens to you where you’d feel like “I want to stay like this for a while.” It would always either be “I can’t wait for this part of my life to be over,” or “Wait a minute, everything’s happening too fast.” No matter what the situation is, you’ll always feel like the rug is being pulled out from under you, and always, you’d fall flat in your scrawny little ass.
Aside from time, I have another qualm that seems to be laughing at me and my decisions lately: responsibility. Half your life, you wish to be given the chance to spread your wings and become independent- live on your own, with no rules, no curfew, no parents to tell you what to do. And here you are a few months later berating yourself because nobody reminds you to do this or do that and obviously, without that chiding guidance, you always fail.
So here I am now learning to walk on my own, like a little parent-less toddler, with no one to soothe my butt when I fall. But the thing is, this is normal, and I’m not the only one who is going through this. Millions like me are wishing we were back at our own homes with someone to cook for us, take care of us, and make the right decisions for us.
But this is what growing up is like, it is scary, it is daunting, and most times you’d feel lost along the way. You make the absolute worst decisions, you work for a job you didn’t choose, you hang out with people you don’t feel comfortable with, you miss the people whom you actually hated spending time with, you start becoming unhealthy, you spend for a lot of things you don’t need and you start thinking about things that shouldn’t actually trouble you in your early twenties.
It’s a new chapter, and no matter what happens, you will come out of this a changed person; and as long as you know that you’re strong enough to handle all the new things, you’ll be okay, and you’ll be prepared for the next chapters to come.
xx Gizel
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