A letter to my 25-year-old self.

Dear 25-year-old Gizel,

Are you a model yet? hahahahahaha!! Do you see the first question you ask yourself?? I’m writing this in a joking manner, but I’m actually a bit serious. If you’re not a model, (or have been) please at least be at a point in your life where you are happy, and living your dreams. I know it’s too much to ask, but this is a head start already.

Six years ago, you were at a low point in your life. No you are not a failure. You’re just sad. You’re sad because you think you’re going nowhere. You’re sad because you are afraid. Afraid of not being able to amount to something. You will. I know I’m speaking from the past, but I have a huge trust in you.

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At this moment, you believe in surrounding yourself with positive energy. I hope you’re still doing that. I also kind of wish that I wrote this letter at a time where I’m happy with my life so you won’t have to remember the depressing parts, but I’m not. And it’s okay. It’s okay to remember these sad days because it’s a huge part of who you’ve become.

I’m not gonna have huge expectations of your career now because I don’t want you to feel disappointed. I just want you to remember what you were like as a nineteen-year-old. You were full of dreams and huge aspirations. You have impossibly high and extreme goals, but that’s not a bad thing.

If you’re not successful yet, who cares? You still got time. Make another letter to your thirty-year-old self. If you are, then CONGRATULATIONS!

Is it anything I ever thought it would be? I wish you’re having fun now. I wish you’re happy and contented. Whatever happened these past six years, I wish you’ve grown into a better person.

Are you still friends with all your friends from today? Hopefully you are. They are the best people in your life right now, they make you happy a lot, and I hope you never lost touch over the years. If you have for some reason, I’m telling you, please call them right now, and tell them that you miss them.

Did you have your heart broken in the course of writing and reading this letter? Remember him right now (or them, if you’ve been that lucky.) Whatever went wrong, don’t feel bad. If it’s WORTH fighting for, then fight, if not, then FORGET.

If God forbid, you’re still single at this age, go out tonight. Please don’t be a prude! What have you been doing??

And if however, the stars have aligned and you’re in a happy relationship right now, give him a kiss, for me? I know you tend to be detached and unfeely from everyone you’ve ever known, so I think he deserves at least a little bit of cheesiness from your part. If you have changed, and become this showy person, then good for you! I’m proud of you, I know how hard it is for you to bare your emotions, I’m glad you are doing it now.

I feel as if, when you read this message, I should give you a sign from today. Well right now, your horoscope says “Something may be offered to you soon that you will not need, or even want to any significant degree. Know when to say no.” Well, that’s shit-crappy advice, but really, your 19-year-old self believed too much in horoscopes. It’s a good thing though, to at least have something to believe in.

Have you gone full agnostic now or do you go to the church? Whatever it is, I hope you;re still praying.

Hey, how’s your family? Promise me that after reading this letter, you’d buy a gift to both of your sisters and tell them you’re giving it to them, “just because.”

You love your mom so much but you kind of hate your dad right now. I hope you don’t anymore. I hope you have a great relationship with your mom and your dad. They are your parents after all.

Oh, and have you travelled to at least 3 continents before you turned 23 just like you promised yourself? If not yet, SAVE! And buy the first promo flight you get today! It doesn’t matter if you travel alone, and you get it booked for the next year! It will be worth it!

I know I seem to demand a lot from you. I have all these ambitious advice in this letter, I mean, what do I know, right? I’m just a dumb teenager. But I hope you at least made true some of my dreams at this age because, I’m pretty sure that the choices and decisions you are making at this moment is making the dreams (or at least some of it) of our 30-year-old self come true! I really hope you do get to read this.

Love Yourself.

Love Always,

You.

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